An Open Letter to a Former Friend

Dear Former Friend

I know sometimes people really don’t get you and they really give you a hard time. I know sometimes people make you out to be a really detestable creature and wish you the worst in life. But today, I really want to say, “Thank you!” (And I don’t mean one of those grudgful expressions of sarcastic gratitude where people say, “Thank you,” but really mean, “Burn in hell, you demon!”)

Really. I mean it. From the warmest place in my heart – thank you!

It would be really awkward for me to call you up out of the blue or send you an email to express this gratitude, so I’m just going to leave this here. Maybe you’ll see it. Maybe you won’t. It doesn’t even matter! I just really wanted it to be said…


The truth is, I used to resent you for how much pain you caused me. Yes, I eventually forgave you, but I still struggled with how you could be such an amazing person, and still hurt me. You were a paradox I never understood. But, today, I am reflecting on where I was, where I am, and where I am going, and I just cannot thank you enough for walking away from me. I used to really struggle with your choice to hurt me and I will not pretend to understand it. But I want you to  know this day, that I most sincerely appreciate your decision.

I believe you didn’t mean to hurt me and that when you made your choice, you were just doing what you felt you needed to do. I never got to understand the true depth of why you felt you needed to, but because you did what you did, I am in a place I never dreamed would be possible.

Where I am today, is where I’ve always wanted to be. I will not venture to say that if you had stayed I would not have been able to experience such bliss, but what I will say is that I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life! I’m not trying to hurt you or to prove a point in saying that. I just know that your decision to let me go was one of the best things that has ever happened to me (I’m sure you would say the same for yourself). Today, there is no drama, no confusion and no desire or inclination to defend love in my life. This is what I have always prayed for and I am here today because you chose, and God allowed you, to walk away.

I’ve never wished you any pain or hurt. I’ve never tried to put other people against you, regardless of what happened between us. But today, I want to publicly bless you and all that you are! You have always been amazing. I’ve never changed my mind about that. Today, former friend, I release you from my heart and thank you for the lessons you taught me through your presence, but more so, through your absence. You gave me one of the most amazing gifts I could ever have asked for – the freedom to find my way to here!

I’ve never considered you to be my enemy. You will always be a significant part of my story and this is my most sincere prayer for you…

May your days be filled with love and may the Spirit of God overtake you! May your relationships prosper and your children walk in wisdom. May your cupboards be blessed forever and may you never be haunted by your past. May every curse be turned to blessing. May your strength increase with your years, and may the favour and abundance of God be your portion for the rest of your days.

So, dear former friend, thank you for being “former”, for my latter has truly been great and is becoming even greater!

Thank you! Thank You! Thank YOU!!!


Warmest regards,






What Do You Think?

“It’s never a good idea to discuss religion or politics with people you don’t really know.” Agree or disagree? – The Daily Post

Interesting question.

The thing about politics, religion and other topical…well…topics (I couldn’t resist), is that they tend to connect people. Bonding takes place among individuals when there are common interests. But I’ve also found that sometimes conflicts bring people together. Some of my best friendships were formed after heated discussions, flaring tempers and mismanaged words. Whatever the case may be, we’d have to open ourselves to the risks that lie in sharing our views on politics and religion. 

Some of the most memorable conversations I’ve had have been with people I barely knew.  So as I think about this question, I’m asking myself, “Why would I not want to discuss politics or religion with people unfamiliar to me?” Isn’t the point of conversation to engage, learn and/or impart? Perhaps if the goal of such discussions is just to air my views, maybe I shouldn’t talk to anyone…about anything…period. Conversations, discussions, or whatever we may call them, are not just about ideas. They are about people. So if every time I open my mouth to speak, I am just fixed on making my voice heard, then I should probably only talk to myself. No one wants to listen to a self-centered speaker who doesn’t care to hear the opinions of others. Whatever our strong views are, we owe it to people to show respect for them, even if we disagree with the stances they take.

Here’s my bottom line – any interaction with people we don’t know is ridden with risk. There’s hardly a way to predict responses. A simple “how are you” can emit the most outrageous of answers and could end up in quarrels. I believe there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things. And I think if we find the right way, we should feel free to voice our opinions and raise discussions about things we strongly believe in. And in so doing, we might discover meaningful encounters with strangers waiting to be friends. We might find enemies who need extra grace. We might find different perspectives that challenge ours and which help us solidify what we say we believe. But I’ve found that the greatest discovery has been that I do have the right to share my ideas as much as others, and somehow, I agree. Somehow, I burst past the fear of not knowing how to answer, or what to ask next, what to think and I launch into a place of such renewed confidence. 

So I say, speak up!