Tonight, my house is filled with children from 3 – 8 years old. And the madness is causing me to think…
I love large families. Well, I love the idea of having a large family. Actually…I think what I really love is the way large families seem to always have lots of fun at family gatherings and how you always seem to have a full house. There’s always a story to tell because there are so many personalities involved. But now that I’m actually thinking about this, I think having a large family would drive me insane! I’m an introvert who loves people, but who needs her space. Oh my word! What was I thinking??! How would I handle that?!
I have a son. His name is Teddy. He loves quiet mornings and roudy afternoons. Sometimes, he seems so much like me. Loves people, but particularly on weekends, he prefers to have some quality time with himself. I don’t know who his father is and probably never will because they don’t do DNA testing on dogs in Guyana. Yes, my son’s father is a dog. No, really – he is. And that would make sense, since my son is also a dog. My dog, Teddy, is the closest I’ve come to being a mommy. Unlike my niece, he belongs to me and doesn’t go home when his parents come to get him. I have 4 godchildren – 2 girls and 2 boys. But I’ve not had to spend more than an hour alone with them. The bottom line here, is that I don’t know why I think I could effectively have 4 children of my own when the time comes. I don’t even know why I want to have 4! I love children, and i believe they are a blessing! But most times, I can barely stand the noise of 1 child screaming through the house! And I’m thinking 4?!
But somehow I think this is okay. Somehow, I believe this oblivion and naivety are important to my development as a woman. I think one day when I do have human children of my own, I’ll look back at this time and think…….well, truthfully, I don’t know what I’ll think. I just imagine I’ll be grateful to God for allowing me the privilege of raising the 1, 2, 3, 11… children He entrusts to the care of my husband (yet to be revealed) and me.
Until then, I’m enjoying the nights when I get to send the little monkeys home haha! And I think that’s okay too!